Not Silence.

You are not too sensitive.
You are valid and your feelings are valid.

A world where we are told constantly to just ignore, to turn the other cheek
and to not stir up trouble.

We keep things bottled up.
We are forced into silence.

Audre Lorde said, your silence will not protect you.
Silence will cause you harm.

If you speak, you will be criticized and if you do not speak you will be
criticized.

You might as well speak and tell your truth.
Some days I think about how different my life would have been if I had
been taught earlier to ignore respectability politics and speak my truth
every time.

I should never be afraid to say what I feel.
That is the purpose of my mouth.
As long as I am not harming anybody. I should not be told to keep quiet.
I am thankful for self-awareness.
I understand that this is not something that can change overnight because I
have mostly been taught to just keep quiet so I will not be perceived as rude
(fuck I hate it).

Honestly my decision to constantly open my mouth to talk and argue and to
write my truth is my personal fight against white supremacy.
It is white supremacy that influenced my guardians’ decision to bring me
up in this way. It is patriarchy that suggests that a girl/ lady should keep
quiet and be seen as gentle and accommodating.
Well boohoo to patriarchy because I am not a lady. This is the way I go
against that norm.

It is religion soaked in patriarchy that permits the statements “if someone
slaps you on the right cheek turn the left because their reward is in heaven”
hello how about your reward being the slap I end up giving you. How about
that?

Again this is my personal revolt.
It doesn’t pay to be silent.
I don’t even have to talk to be seen as angry or forceful. All I have to do is
show up in my black skin with or without my face beat and already they tip
toe around me.
Already they are so ready to tell me to calm down, to tell me it’s not that
serious to tell me that I need to be calm.

I remember my manager from my first job telling me that there is no room
for all of that ghetto behavior because I had a disagreement with someone
at work.

All I did was tell a coworker not to talk to me a certain way. I know it is
within my right to set boundaries and to protect myself from the crazy
world. But I was told “none of that ghetto behavior is permitted here”.
Thinking back, I ask myself why I didn’t go off on that manager because
that statement was rude and racist but it boils down to me getting scared of
authority and telling myself I have to respect people so I kept silent.

Did my silence protect me? No
Was I treated even worse after that? Yes
There is no need to be perceived as humble or as gentle or as calm or
whatever the adjective they want to use to convince us to not fight back.

we are here. we are loud. we are queer. we are proud.

Speak baby. Scream baby. Do not allow them to silence you.

You are valid. Your words are valid.